Tiny Tiptoes

Tiptoes is a horrifying example of a project in which good intentions take a frightening turn due to an utter lack of good judgment. It was supposed to be a melodrama that would show the normalcy of the lives of little people, but the absurd screenplay and absolutely delusional implementation gave rise to the fact that thoughts of normalcy are the last thing to come to the viewer’s mind. Hell, all of the characters behave like they came out of a photographic comic book and took their storylines and jobs from the most outlandish Latin American telenovela (firefighter trainer, pregnant artist, French Marxist biker) and half of the budget must have been blown on a steady stream of hip new costumes for the main female characters. Apparently in the interest of attracting attention to the film, the casting call drew in a number of stars led by Matthew McConaughey, Kate Beckinsale, Gary Oldman, Patricia Arquette and Peter Dinklage, as well as every little person living in Hollywood and its broader vicinity (yes, even Debbie Lee Carrington of Total Recall fame makes an appearance). The most bizarre aspect that trips up the whole film is the fact that someone had the idea of having Oldman play the main little-person character. The result is a film that is supposed to be a touching melodrama about little people, but instead turns into a bizarre non-stop revue of all kinds of creative ways to give the impression that Oldman is a little person. This means not only that he spent the whole film on his knees and that his character walks with a cane to legitimise his resulting clumsy “walk”, but also that the cameraman and the crew had to take every possible measure to maintain the illusion of his height (or lack thereof). So, we sometimes see him swallowed up in a couch or marching around behind suspiciously arranged furniture. The icing on the cake was provided by the Czech distributor, who renamed the film Ďáblíci (The Devils) and, in a classic video-huckster move, completely distorted the story in an effort to attract McConaughey’s female fans by slapping on the cover the fake quote “A remarkable story and the incredible Matthew McConaughey, who plays an unconventional character”. (20/09/2020)

Kate Beckinsale was, as usual, a pleasure to the eye. Otherwise, like the others, she didn't have much to show because the script was painfully weak, the dialogue corresponded to that, and the director didn't manage to handle it with honor, resulting in an incoherent story comprised of disjointed shallow scenes. Instead of strong moments, there were all kinds of clichés, and I was utterly indifferent to the characters' fates. My only reflection on the film is this: / Lesson learned: Sometimes in life, it's best when two people just get stuck with each other. (11/06/2023)