Evasion

Escape Plan is helped a lot by the detached humour that Stallone and Schwarzenegger (and, to a lesser extent, the brilliantly sleazy Jim Caviezel) bring to the increasingly imbecilic story. Together, they transform the film into a reunion of alumni who passed a test composed of testosterone-fuelled gestures sometime in the 1980s. However, Håfström makes no effort to stylistically recall any of that. The only upgrade of the (arche)types that the two aging action stars have played over the past forty years is most likely supposed to consist in complementing pure muscle mass with an exceptional intellect. Unlike their ability to hold a ten-kilo machine gun in one hand, I did not believe either one’s shrewdness bordering on genius. Unfortunately, the action – i.e. the main reason the film exists – comes only after a hundred minutes of recycling the most hackneyed escape motifs. In addition to that, the resulting plan is so encumbered with the factor of chance that the presentation of Stallone as a master escape artist is cut off at the knees. After Sly’s unsuccessful attempt to address the matter at hand intellectually, the screenwriter sensible turns him back into good old ultra-violent Rambo. Overall, Escape Plan is just another unsuccessful attempt at a major (double) comeback that much more frequently raises a bemused smile rather than the adrenaline level. 65% (11/10/2013)

The script is just stupid enough. I'm simply fascinated by the studio's policy of bringing these over-serving tandems on set under the baton of directorial routinists who operate with the given material more than casually and can only make it work in a few catchy lines and, regarding this film, a unique religious Germanic outburst. Otherwise, it’s essentially a very sterile and fleeting spectacle. (15/08/2014)

Futuretro and Sly who makes a lightbulb out of a bungee cord and even uses it to escape prison. Those were the first two feelings I had when I watched this movie. Truth be told, it wasn’t what I’d imagined. Especially the realism was completely off and I’d compare it to Demolition Man, only with one big difference; the lack of one-liners. Sly and Arnold are just acting tough rather than creating some sort of a laid-back atmosphere and emotions. And that’s basically the whole movie. The topic is really interesting when it comes to two action legends, but the director’s take was far too systematic. I didn’t really feel any heart in that. It doesn’t have one-liners, nothing that could elevate such a great idea to a level that could be called legendary. A shame. (10/03/2015)

"You don't look that smart..." Indeed. It is a pity that the script realizes this only after it realizes that two wooden clubs will not produce an intellectual spark. A few of the situations are amusing, Arnie's religious Germanic frenzy is magical, but otherwise it’s a handful of poorly written and dully filmed situations that try to look smart here, dramatic there, but they rather flow by harmlessly (and arouse legitimate smiles). I have a feeling that a similar happening will work at high speed only on a wave of irony and playfulness. And the creators forgot to lock them up in the same prison. I don't know if I dreamed of meeting Sly and Arnie, but since I'm a fan of both, I would justifiably expect some greater emotion than the embarrassed smile on my face when Sly punched Arnie. It's gone. Oh well. [55%] (11/10/2013)

A surprisingly out-of-breath Prison Break that even the usually reliable Mikael Håfström had no chance of saving. Apart from an original introduction, well-aimed jokes, and a few minutes of Arnold Schwarzenegger's five minutes of glory in the finale, the plot, twists, and actual escape only work with the viewer's well wishes and goodwill for the nostalgic mood. It is completely saved from an average rating by the fact that I was genuinely looking forward to the main duo – the unlimited Expendables limit – and Sylvester Stallone's bass voice, capable of pleasantly looking down on everything with the slightest hint of irony. From my initial smile, however, only a small cramp remains. (12/08/2014)

Not just a long awaited meeting of two forgotten legends, but a good movie too. As far as possible, of course, there are so many coincidences, stupid decisions taken by the villains and unshocking surprises. But no matter. The structure is old, but the shell is newly painted. An enjoyable struggle between old procedures and modern methods throughout the entire picture, which gave me a pleasant feeling while watching. Stallone appears as a seasoned inmate and escape artist, Schwarzenegger knows how to get his hands on what’s needed and Caviezel represents the assiduous slipperiness so popular today (and he really enjoys it). The other characters are just there to make up the numbers, the most hilarious being “50 Cent" Jackson as a hacker with morals. The final punch-up is very nicely done and when Arnold picks up the machine gun, a smile spreads across the face of all orthodox fans. I don’t want to dwell on the resilience of the helicopter and the subsequent exploding barrels... I suppose it had to be included. Overall I’m satisfied, something that I couldn’t imagine originally. Old school on its best form. + Arnold’s Austrian way of distracting attention - that’s definitely the high point of the movie. (23/10/2013)

I wouldn't overstate it with the return. Stallone is far from the intensity of the new Rambo. This is neither a comedy, nor action-packed enough, nor a clever heist film. There are too many coincidences and it is too straightforward with various plot inserts that are too obvious and for effect. There is little action and you have to wait for it for a long time. There are a few solid scenes, but they don't raise the adrenaline as much as you would expect from an old action school flick, and that has nothing to do with the age of the protagonists, they are completely fine. Only the screenplay should have been much better – even in honor of the 80s B-movies. Jim Caviezel is brilliant. (26/10/2013)

"Say cheese!" I wanted to see these two gentlemen in a movie. But in a good movie, which Escape Plan unfortunately is not. Someone else playing the central duo would have been even worse, and by a lot. Stallone and Schwarzenegger get all the plus points - their friendship and the fun they had acting here is so obvious that one can't help but be pleased. Moreover, when they poke each other irresistibly now and then (with words and fists). But the rest of it... I know that it was not supposed to be a profound experience, but still, in the place where common sense resides, one's head is full of questions like "Damn, such a super-modern prison, with such old-fashioned solitary confinement cells, with a shaft and a ladder underneath?!?!?!" and "Were all those guards really that stupid that they allowed... and that they didn't notice that... and that they didn't care how..." etc. All of this brought the film down terribly and hurt it especially in the sense that when the finale (finally) broke out, I didn't have any concern whatsoever about any of the characters. I just stared blankly, chuckling now and then, waiting for some big moment (yes, Arnold and the machine gun). And then it was over and I went home from the movie theatre. At the same time, I was thinking that I probably should have watched Stallone's Lock Up, which Escape Plan is not nearly as good as. That’s too bad. Escape Plan shouldn't have pretended to try to be anything - that way it would have worked out better. (22/10/2013)

B-movie; straightforward and entertaining, originally conceived and refreshed by two veteran icons who in their old age have become even more deeply aware of their role in a colossal movie marathon. But a B-movie nonetheless, predictable, with a stale, truncated and unsurprising plot (starting with the escape plan and ending with Arnie's final "asshole"), and it's more appropriate in this case than elsewhere to play the critic and point out that playing for fun is different from actually being fun. The biggest impression is left by the unpleasantly slimy James Caviezel, who perhaps has never been so good. 65% (09/01/2014)

Damn, I know that this film has its flaws, like characters that are essentially unnecessary and a plot that doesn't significantly impact anything. Or how it plays on the cliché that action heroes played by action stars simply don't die. But still, this is a fantastic idea that was well executed. There isn't as much humor as you would expect, but the ending is quite light-hearted. Additionally, you don't often see or hear Arnold speaking in his native German. Entertaining, although quite lengthy, great main roles. It's evident that Sly and Arnold really enjoy playing together, and they are doing it immensely well. I look forward to their future collaboration. (27/10/2013)

I expected all kinds of things, but Escape Plan exceeded all my expectations. This was an absolute treat for any fan of 80s action movies, waiting for The Expendables 3. The plot is kind of bland and sometimes lacking in logic, but who cares. When Rambo meets Terminator, what you expect to get are action scenes and iconic lines, and there are more than enough. I enjoyed its whole runtime and there are few movies that I’ve enjoyed this year as much as this one. “I told you. No talent.” (17/01/2014)