Ultra Flesh

Porn flicks by the director Svetlana are characterised by exaggeration and humour, but they mostly stay within the boundaries of rollicking comedies that ridicule the narrative formulas of porn movies or take clichéd fantasies to overwrought extremes. Even in the context of her filmography, however, Ultra Flesh is a madcap romp that has no equal in porn or anywhere else due to its absurdity and bizarreness. The premise of an intergalactic heroine who has to save Earth from an evil alien that has rendered every man in the world impotent through sugar is the motivation behind a sequence of completely unhinged scenes. A porn variety show in which dance and sex acts alternate before the eyes of the American president and his horny wife, a summit meeting that takes place on a racetrack (before the leaders of the US, USSR and China start getting picked on by little boys) and a whole storyline involving an intergalactic heroine with the ability to shoot a laser out of her vagina that causes instant erections are absurd enough, but the duo of mercurial dwarves tops it all. One of them (played by Luis De Jesus, who not only appeared in a number of porn movies, but also wore an Ewok costume in Return of the Jedi) has a field day and the other ruins any scene in which he appears with his affected overacting, deranged costumes and malevolent burlesque etudes. Ultra Flesh thus offers up a phantasmagorical mix of porn, a parody of naïve sci-fi adventure movies and a farce ridiculing government authorities (“When you get your erections back, you can go fuck your countries again.”), as well as mischievous clowning and a freak show (besides the dwarves, we have here a truly colourful gallery of aliens from the intergalactic council and Jamie Gillis with a frightening glued-on biker moustache). And, lo and behold, it’s not only deranged, maniacal and unbelievable, but wildly entertaining in places. (29/08/2015)