The Boneyard

On the one hand, The Boneyard is completely inconsistent trash. On the other hand, its irrational bombast and unbridledness provide tremendous viewing pleasure that’s actually more of the sincere than guilty variety. Though it starts out as a mysterious horror movie with an unexpectedly unconventional female protagonist, we soon encounter demons in child form and occult rituals, and formulaic characters with bizarre features (for example, a pathologist with a long ponytail and rose-tinted glasses) start to pile up. There is even an extremely phantasmagorical rip-off of Aliens, which ultimately results in an absurd variation on classic happy endings. Perhaps the filmmakers didn’t know what they actually wanted, so they just threw every possible attraction at viewers, but everything surprisingly somehow fits together and, thanks to the entirely respectable effects, turns out to be a magnificent spectacle. Furthermore, where else will you see the lead roles played by a mannish obese woman and a dandy past his prime with a grey moustache who looks like something out of a seventies television series and plays opposite a purely nineties rookie from an embarrassing buddy comedy. And then there’s the moulting old lady, who is obviously a very good actress, and the poodle... The Boneyard definitely offers things that you will never see anywhere else, at least not in the given combination. (22/09/2013)