lamps

As expected, a shoddy, boring and criminally unoriginal fund-footage; and I don’t mean the concept and the settings, which are alright, but the process by which the standard wandering around corridors was put together into something remotely reminiscent of a story. It does have a couple of good moments, but bloody hell, it never escalates! I don’t know why I keep looking for an original golden needle in this haystack of pointless movies.

Rubbish that denies the assumption that a successful film should offer a distinctive story or a well though-out concept. The only artistic motivation of Blair Witch is to “look like real footage” and it succeeded only because viewers weren’t yet able to debunk that “authenticity”. If this film was released today, it wouldn’t make any waves. 90% of its runtime is people being lost in the woods and the remaining 10% is filled with some sort of tension when the wandering in the woods moves into a scary cabin. It has cult status and won’t deny it, but personally I hate it and it bores me like most other found-footage movies (with the exception of: Cloverfield, REC and Troll Hunter, and actually even Jákl’s Ghoul is quite better). 20%

An amazingly portrayed real story told from a child’s perspective, which is hurt a little by its excessive runtime and having too many endings. But every scene is so masterfully put together and each of those endings are so emotionally strong and semantically different (which is important), that there’s nothing to complain about. It should be swimming in Oscars, at least for he music and the cinematography.

One of the greatest classics of Polish cinema, brimming with the enthusiasm of beginner filmmakers who would just grab a camera to shoot what they liked. It also holds a pointing finger as a warning sign to the way the lens of a camera can twist the perception of reality and subvert the approach to previously unshakable family values – in other words, how the quest for the right shot can become more intimate than the love for one’s own wife and children. In any case, Camera Buff is another wonderfully directed film by Krzysztof Kieślowski, who again combines stylistic approaches into a purposeful thematic structure, while playing with the aesthetics of amateur cinema in a constructive and coherent way. This is a movie about filmmaking and filmmakers gradually gaining new approaches and perspectives, with which they not only look and their subjects, but also at their own lives and the interpretation thereof. 85%

An incredibly original and unique adaptation of an “unfilmable” novel that approaches the barebones of its source material through an ostentatious overlapping of several storylines and the portrayal of the creative process itself. In this case is better to avoid finding out anything about the film and go unprepared to be absorbed by the unrelenting fireworks of post-modern narrative gimmicks, which, in all their self-awareness, have never been so entertaining. Steve Coogan plays himself playing two main characters and guides us through a very energetic portrayal of a film within a film, gradually peeling off its individual thematic layers and, from the various possibilities of adapting its own source material, shows the problems they could easily have behind the scenes if Michael Winterbottom actually tried to adapt a complex book the traditional way. It’s a great idea that works flawlessly and never gives the viewer the chance to extricate themselves, but who would like to do that when they can savour one of the most narratively intoxicating and best films of the XXI century? Don’t hesitate and add the name Tristam Shandy in bold to your list of films to watch. 95%

A thoughtfully structured narrative in subjective flashbacks that introduces a notoriously famous affair from the only correct and defensible perspective. It’s directed in a nicely old-fashioned way that often focuses on the systematic movement of the characters around the mise-en-scène, with great performances and a satisfactory build-up. When it comes to the development and the culmination of the relationship between the two main characters, it’s not very strong or original, but the intransigence of Dreyfus's character at the expense of the proponents of justice has its obvious purpose. Another competently made film by Polanski about a personal topic. 80%

A bad film through and through whose greatest ornament (and best actress!) is the very attractive Rhona Mitra – the Middle Ages look good on her (yeah, greetings, Doomsday). Lambert plays his part boringly and Graham Baker directs a pretty interesting B-movie premise with the cute helplessness of a fan who lacks both the resources and the talent to create something in any way memorable. The action scenes and the special effects are terrible, but the film at least goes by fast and it’s not boring.

It’s better to watch this film without knowing any details of the story beforehand. The first fifteen minutes at least work like a slightly mysterious introduction to the background and the trio of main characters, who turn out to be a pretty interesting and psychologically unusually open gang. The female lead is a characterless villain who turns the lives of others upside down, but we can understand her and think freely about her actions. And it doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, the main motifs are strong and comprehensible enough for everyone. 80%

Unfortunately, about half as much fun as I expected. And yet, it has almost all the ingredients for a truly entertaining spectacle, the sum of which would inevitably become material for a very specific cult: the beautifully wooden actors (with the exception of Plummer and even Hasselhoff, who’s pretty decent against the protagonist duo), the cheap sets, the porno wardrobe with retro hairdos and the incredibly cheesy and often funny dialogues. But its serious dramaturgical approach doesn’t contribute to the otherwise light entertainment. The ending, for instance, is a bad rip-off of Star Wars that generates pity instead of laughter. But the robot was great and Caroline Munro in a bikini was awesome.

I don’t care at all its shortcomings as a documentary (i.e. sweet sentimentality), the only type of person who can not like this is someone whose heart was stolen in grade school and never got it back. Unprecedented, beautifully shot and proving that the connection of ugly people with beautiful nature is possible.